Favorite autoresponders

If everyone were honest, here's how some of my favorite autoresponders would look.

1. "In this organization, we are all like a family. And as you know, most families are disfunctional, so there's that. Also, are you really going to ask for a bonus from your family members? Is that how your other family raised you?"

2. "Although we liked your profile very much, we didn't really like it that much."

3. "We will keep your resume on file. That file is safely kept in a vault in Norway which is apocalypse resistant so that when the next set of apex predators start hiring, they will be able to find you easily!"

4. "Your call is important to us and a representative will be with you as soon as he's done watching this 'Hello friends chai pi lo' video on youtube. Also, link your Aadhar."

5. "Dear sender. I will be out of office and although I will read all your emails because I have a smartphone and its 2018, I will not reply because eff that I hate this job."

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